Sirius in the Muggle Worlda Marauders adventure
by marmitehaters67
Summary: for: TheSunIsOnFire(thanks for reading our story! hope you like your prize!) a story about the Marauders...in Wegmans. centered around Sirius, set in sixth year. written by Artemis, Inez edited. contains slight swearing, nothing too bad though. oneshot. enjoy!


**A/N: this is a request from one of the many readers of our most recent story "bet you can't last." (you win any request of any story and it's qualities if you complete the entire story) thank you so much to this reader, and we hope you are satisfied with the end-result of your request:) Artemis+Inez**

Sirius's POV:  
I hate the last day of school.  
Sure, I've never really liked the classes. Merlin knows how many times McGonagall's given me detention, and how I completely blew off History Of Magic, but in my defence, that subject is completely irrelevant to me. I don't care what Mooney says, learning about the Ogre Massacre is not going to help me become a professional Beater for the Falmouth Falcons.  
Anyway, I don't really like the educational part of Hogwarts. I prefer Quidditch, the food, harassing Slytherins, taking trips to Hogsmeade, my mates, and there's always the fact that I get away from my mother for a good nine months.  
You may be thinking, "oh, that's what every 16 year old boy thinks, I'm sure she's not that bad." Oh, but she is.  
As soon as I got of the bloody train, she was already screaming at me.  
"SIRIUS! PICK UP YOUR JUNK AND GET YOUR USELESS ARSE OVER HERE! THE SOONER WE LEAVE, THE BETTER. I CAN'T STAND BEING IN THE PRESENCE OF SO MANY MUDBLOODS AND BLOOD TRAITORS!"  
My mates, James, Peter, and Remus all winced when they heard her. I just rolled my eyes and ignored the snickers that were coming from the Slytherins. James handed me my bag and we all bid our farewells.  
"I'll try to get you over as much as possible, yeah?" James said to me, patting my shoulder to wish me luck. I nodded.  
"You guys, too," he said to Mooney and Wormtail. They agreed, wincing as my mum screamed at me again to hurry up.

My mum, brother, and I side-apparated back to our manor. Yeah, yeah, I know, having a freaking mansion, its the best thing in the world and all that crap. However, when you live with your small family and all those rooms are just used for storage, it gets old fast. Also seeing as every room has either a Slytherin banner in it or really creepy portraits of long dead family members, I tend to keep to my room.  
I chuckled as I entered my room for the first time in nine months. Where my Gryffindor banner hung, there were tints of Slytherin green that had been splattered on the wall around it. Where my muggle photographs were magicked to the wall, there were slight scorch marks surrounding the tiny naked bits of wall in between the photos, the pictures themselves without so much as a scratch on them. Ah, the beauty of charms. I'm underage, of course, I barely get away with side-apparating. I just get my older cousin, Andromeda, to do the charms for me. Cost me a galleon per charm, but it was definitely worth it.  
I unpacked my trunk (and by that I mean throw all my clothes into one corner and all my books into another.) and grabbed a few Muggle magazines that James had gotten me for my 16th birthday. I grabbed a pair of scissors and began cutting out the pictures of motorcycles and muggle girls in wet suits. I added the pictures to the whole wall of my room dedicated to pissing off my parents. It's almost to the point where they refuse to come into my room.  
Almost.  
"SIRIUS BLACK WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR ROOM?!" My mother screamed as she stood in the doorway to my room, looking around in horror as she notice the latest additions. I find it funny how she screams anyway, as if I can't hear her.  
"I believe I could ask you the same question, mother dearest," I smirked. "Judging by the marks on my wall, it seems that you've been trying to...shall we say, redecorate,"  
"Take down those disgusting pictures immediately." My father said, appearing behind my mother, who was too busy shaking with rage to actually say anything.  
"If you don't like them, then don't come in my room," I replied coldly.  
"I WILL NOT HAVE THIS FILTH IN MY HOME! REMOVE IT IMMEDIATELY, OR I'LL REMOVE YOU!" my mother yelled at me.  
"Promise?" I sneered, getting up and slamming the door in her face. I quickly stuffed some of my belongings in my trunk before writing a quick note to James and sending it off by owl.

"Prongs,  
Sorry to intrude, but I'll have to stay at your place for a while, let my parents cool off for a bit. Another row again. It was over the state of my room, if you can believe it. I'll explain later, I hope its alright if I stay with you for a night or two.  
-Padfoot"

As I stormed out of the mansion, ignoring my parents' screaming to come back; if I leave to never return, all that rubbish, I turned a corner and sat at a nearby bus stop, waiting for the knight bus to arrive, like it always seems to.  
An owl appeared bearing me a letter before flying away. I recognised it immediately as James's owl and accepted the letter, ripping open the envelope eagerly.

"Padfoot,  
We'll be expecting you, don't worry about it. My parents love you, they really don't care.  
Ps: if you arrive after dinner, my mums gonna be pissed. She's under the impression that you don't eat enough. She obviously hasn't seen you around anything even remotely edible.  
-Prongs"

I sighed with relief. That's one problem solved.  
The knight bus arrived ten minutes later, speeding away to people's destinations.  
I arrived at the Potters at around 7:00, unfortunately after dinner, so naturally I got Mrs. Potter's ever so famous "Sirius-how-have-you-been-you've-gotten-taller-my-goodness-you'll-break-so-many-hearts-and-for-heavens-sake-dont-they-feed-you-at-home-if-only-you-had-come-earlier-but-im-afraid-we-dont-have-any-leftovers-James-ate-them-all-the-inconsiderate-pig-that-he-is-oh-don't-give-me-that-look-James-I-was-only-joking-about-being-an-inconsiderate-pig-but-hes-a-bloody-twig-just-look-at-him-well-I'll-let-you-get-settled-you-know-where-the-guest-room-is-and-I-promise-tomorrow-I'll-feed-you-actual-food-instead-of-the-merlin-knows-what-you-get-at-home."speech that I recieve every time I visit, which is rather often, actually.  
"Mooney and Wormtail should be here tomorrow 'round noon," James said as we walked upstairs to his room. "Til then its just us and mum. Dads off on an Auror mission, so he won't be home. How long will you be staying here?"  
"How long am I allowed to stay?"  
"Whole summer if you want, my parents don't really care. Wormtail's staying for the summer, and Mooney only leaving due to his 'monthly problem,' he'll be here most of the time."  
"I'd rather not intrude though, I'll just go home in a few days." I said.  
As we walked into James's room, we saw a large trunk filled with a majority of my possessions, a little note attached to it.  
"Don't even think about coming home, you ungrateful blood traitor. Good riddance." It read, in my mothers handwriting.  
"On second thought," I told James after reading the note. "I reckon I'll stay for the summer."

The next day, Mooney and Wormtail finally arrived. After helping them get settled, I showed them the note.  
"Wow. She really lost it this time, huh Padfoot?" Peter asked me, an expression of pity and amazement on his face.  
"Yeah, not that I'm complaining though. I've been waiting for an excuse to leave that hellhole."  
"What even set her off?" Remus asked, staring at the note, as if waiting for another message to appear to explain.  
"Well, it was a lot of things," I said, sitting on the sofa next to James, who looked as though he had heard this story a million times. "I mean, you guys have seen my room, you know how she tries to screw it up every time I'm gone. It was also how I kept on using Kreacher as a punching bag until fifth year, she didn't like that at all. I don't think she's ever forgiven me for that, actually. And it was that she always criticised me for every little thing, comparing me to my idiot of a brother," I put on a loud falsetto voice to imitate my mother. "'Why can't you have friends like Regulus, why weren't you sorted into Slytherin, like your brother, why do you have to disgrace a Pureblood family by hanging around with blood traitors, Regulus would never dishonour us like that, why can't you support the dark lord like every other true Pureblood, your brother does!?'" I returned to my regular voice. "So yeah it was a lot of contributing factors." I said calmly, before reclining back into the sofa and stretching casually.  
My friends stared at me, as if wondering how I could possibly be so relaxed about this situation. Finally, James spoke up.  
"Mate...where are you gonna stay?"  
I shrugged. "I'll probably just stay here until Hogwarts. After we graduate I'll get my own flat in Diagon Alley, I guess."  
"And where are you gonna get the money?" Wormtail asked.  
"I'll get a job," I said.  
"Mate, you don't have to do that, you can just stay here. You're here most of the time anyway, you're always welcome." James suggested.  
"Nah, I'll get my own place after Hogwarts, I'm already pushing it by staying the whole summer."  
"C'mon, my parents won't care, they love you like their own son, and it's not like you can go back home." James said.  
I ran my hands through my long, black hair, considering this.  
"I suppose your right," I nodded. "You sure your parents won't mind?"  
"Positive." James smiled a smirk of success.  
"Fine, but only until I can get a place of my own." I said.  
"Deal. Now, its a beautiful day, and quite frankly, I'm bored. Quidditch, anyone?"

A few hours later, James's mum had served a whole bloody feast. When there are four teenage boys in the house, one being a dog, another being a wolf, another being a large deer-thing(James insists its a stag. Im not even remotely convinced.) and one being a (rather hungry, mind) rat, its always advisable to have food in the house at all times. Not to mention, Mrs. Potter had to eat too. We probably could've fed an army.  
Unfortunately that also meant dishes. Yeah yeah, they had their wands, and I didn't even do any work anyway, but still. Its rather tedious sitting there, trying to remember the bloody spell, then performing it, for Merlin's sake! So much work on our part, to be quite honest.  
We walked upstairs to our rooms and bid each other good night, we each had separate rooms. The Potters are probably the only family richer than mine. I mean, being related to rich folk, and having steady jobs definitely helps, but still. They're bloody loaded. The only noticeable difference between their family and mine is that the Potters don't act like pompous, prejudiced prats. There are only a few good eggs in my family, like me and my cousin Andromeda. Otherwise, my family is one full of Death Eaters and Slytherins. You better believe I have one hell of a time at family reunions.

The next day, Mrs. Potter woke me up, running around at the ungodly hour of ten, looking for food.  
James, Peter, and Remus were in the sitting room, playing Exploding Snap. James looked up and smirked at me.  
"Ah, Sirius, you're up rather early."  
"Shut up" I groaned, wanted nothing more than to collapse onto my bed and sleep for a few more hours. However, Mrs. Potter clanking around the bloody kitchen didn't make that possible.  
After going at it for over ten more minutes, she entered the sitting room and walked towards the door, pulling on her coat and shoes.  
"Right, we literally have no food in the house, I'm off to Wegmans to get some. I'm afraid you boys will have to come with me, last time I left James alone with you three, he ended up trashing the place and breaking his arm. If it's all the same to you, I'd rather that didn't happen again, yeah?"  
I remembered that time. The Potters had left for a reception of some sort, leaving us alone. We tore the entire house apart, and James had fallen from a chandelier. His parents weren't really angry, a flick of a wand, and everything was fine, but still. They didn't really trust us alone together after that. Good times, good times...  
The word "Wegmans" struck me as odd, though.  
"What's a Wegmans?" I asked James.  
"It's a Muggle store where people buy food. You've never been to one?" Remus said.  
I shook my head. "My mum hates anything associated with Muggles, especially a store full of one. Besides, she just sends the house elves to get food."  
"Well, Sirius, it seems as we're going on a little field trip," James grinned.

Twenty minutes later, we were walking towards the entrance  
to a Wegmans, dressed like Muggles, ready to shop.  
I swear, it was like being in Diagon Alley for the first time. The entire building was lit up, displays of food on one side of the building, a bunch of cashiers and clerks on the other. The clerks had weird devices in front of them, though. I looked at them, trying to figure out what they were. The clerks were typing into them and taking Muggle money in and out of them.  
Wormtail must have noticed my interest in them.  
"They're cash registers, Sirius, they hold the money that the Muggles give them for the food. S'not all that different from the stores you're used to, it's just that these people have more technology." He explained.  
I nodded, supposing he was right.  
"Alright boys, lets make this as quick as we can, I know you're probably hungry. Sirius and James, you go get eggs, milk, butter, and bread. Peter and Remus, get the chicken, carrots, potatoes, peas, and plain dough. I'll get the rest. Meet me back here when you've got everything, yeah?"  
James and I went to the dairy section and got all the stuff we needed, then got the bread. We returned to the spot where James's mum told us to wait, no one else had returned yet.  
After waiting for ten minutes, James's mum spotted us and took the items, putting them in her cart and saying we could roam around as long as we didn't get into any trouble.  
I looked around the entire store, knocking down a few sunglasses racks in the process. James and I went to the fruit section, browsing the foods and being ultimately bored. Suddenly, I felt a hard substance hit the back of my head. I turned, rubbing my head, to see an apple on the ground and James trying his hardest not to laugh.  
I shook my head as I picked up a pear and threw it at him, hitting James's neck. He turned and grinned, pulling out his wand and throwing an orange at me, duplicating it in the air, so a dozen oranges came flying at me.  
"That," I said, standing up and grabbing a watermelon, "was a BIG mistake," I cackled. However, just as I was about to throw it at James, I felt the watermelon being tugged out of my hands and back into the rack where I found it. The apple, pear, and the oranges were also back in their carts. James and I looked to see Remus, his wand out, giving us glares like a mother would give when she's scolding her child.  
James and I looked around at the sugar section, where all the Muggle candies and sweets were. I eyed a particular liquid that James had called "soda." It was a different colour for each flavour, grape was purple, regular was maroon, lemon/lime was chartreuse, etc.  
James saw what I was looking at and started to chuckle mischievously.  
"I remember when I was a kid, before Hogwarts, I would always magically make those things explode. Of course, nowadays, Muggles just use these," he grabbed a box of Mento's, "to make the soda explode. Lot of fun, actually. Messy, though." He put the box back.  
As we turned to walk back, I accidentally bumped shoulders with a worker there, who, according to his name tag, was named Norm, and was the manager of Wegmans. He looked a bit like manatee with a moustache (like Vernon Dursley, even though thats not even chronologically possible, ya know?). He had a sneer on his face as I turned to apologise to him.  
"Lousy kids," he grumbled before waddling away, making James and I both snicker as he left.  
"Reminds me of a grumpy Slughorn," I chuckled to James.  
"Y'know, Padfoot," James said, a criminal glint in his eye, like the prankster he is. "I reckon ol' Norm just needs a good laugh to cheer up," reaching for the Mento's.  
I grinned evilly.  
"Maybe he just needs a nice glass of soda," I chuckled, grabbing the bottles of soda next to me, both of us knowing exactly what the other was thinking.  
Minutes later, a soda bottle planted in every aisle, I gave James the signal to put in the Mento's.  
And that's when all hell broke loose.  
Soda exploded like a volcanic eruption in every aisle, sticky shoots of pink, red, orange, chartreuse and purple decorating the aisles. Workers were scrambling around each aisle, slipping and sliding on the soda that had reached the floor, trying to cover up the soda without getting covered in it, of course, failing miserably. The best part was the sight of Norm, face red as a cherry, screaming directions and and frantically running around, trying not to slip as he yelled at his employees.  
Meanwhile, James and I stood by and watched the entire chaos, trying not to die of laughter.  
"Oh, man, if I was seventeen, this would be way more fun." I laughed.  
"Why's that?" James said, a confused expression on his face.  
"Every time the workers get close to shutting one down, I'd make the explosion even larger." I cackled.  
James scared me sometimes, with that evil grin of his.  
"You seem to be forgetting something, Padfoot."  
"What's that?"  
He grinned and pulled out his wand.  
"I'm seventeen."  
James concealed his wand, in case Muggles were looking, and pointed it at the soda bottle in the aisle closest to him.  
"Engorgio," he whispered.  
The soda, that was just starting to die down, automatically shot right back up, the implosion even larger than before. Workers were soaked in soda as James enlarged the other soda bottles. Norm, who at first didn't have a drop on him, was dripping in orange and purple liquid. He caught sight of us laughing at the chaos and started frantically pointing at us.  
"It was them! It was them! I don't know how they'd done it, but it was them!"  
"My dearest Norm, what on earth are you talking about?" I asked, putting on a posh, pompous voice that sounded scarily like how my brother talks.  
"Do you honestly believe," James added, mimicking my voice. "that we would have the audacity as to ruin this fine store? Honestly, we weren't even near the explosions. How could we have caused all of them at once?"  
This caused Norm to have a bit of a seizure, before James's mum came up to us, Remus and Peter at her side, saying it was time to go.  
"Ma'am, are these your boys?" Norm spluttered in rage.  
"Yes. Have they done something?"  
"Do...DONE SOMTHING?! Why, yes, madam, they HAVE!" He screamed, pointing to the explosions that were still carrying on.  
"Oh, but they couldn't possibly have! They were with me, they just headed off for a mere second while I paid for the groceries, I assure you. I had my eye on them the whole time!" She protested. James and I both let out sighs of relief.  
"Bu...bu...but, they-" Norm stuttered.  
"I think thats enough. C'mon boys." And we headed off to the Potters', taking one last look at the chaos we had produced, and making this a memory of the time that we got banned from Wegmans.


End file.
